Hidden abuse includes physical, sexual, psychological, verbal, emotional and mental, financial, and spiritual. Hidden abuse is insidious and happens in private, behind doors, and leaves no physical signs or scars. As a result, one struggles to determine whether or not the treatment is part of a normal relationship.
In the process of trying to solve the issues, one gets blamed for the strife in the relationship, leaving one conflicted about who is at fault. In most cases, the issues seem too petty to complain about so a victim of hidden abuse tends to normalize the strife as usual marital issues.
In most cases, by the time one starts to realize the ongoing issues are actually abuse, the challenges that follow include lack of language/the words to point and describe the abuse, self-doubt, lack of support from friends and family, having very little or no financial access, being tied down by joint commitments, trauma bond, anxiety, just to name a few.
Hidden abuse can make a person feel like crazy or losing it. The inner critic and self-doubt are some of the struggles when trying to rise above an abusive situation. The inner critic is negative self-talk which includes feeling shameful, Feeling like a fraud, self-doubts, and low self-esteem. The inner critic is nagging negative thoughts that question and undermines each decision and accomplishment making a person feel guilty and inadequate, it is a specific negative voice in the thoughts originating from words from the past coming from different sources like childhood guardians, a bully, a sibling, or a person you looked up to or trusted, a boss or a spouse. It can be very challenging to overcome inner critic, it can even feel impossible.
Breaking emotional shackles is the ultimate solution for overcoming challenges that one faces on the healing journey. Some of these challenges include codependency, boundaries, limiting beliefs, and childhood programming which makes a person feel so stuck. Healing happens when a speaks up and works through any hurt, pain, or abuse from the past.